I feel like more often than not when I write these life posts they turn into me moaning and groaning about how fed up I am at my health, which sadly I cant apologise for as I’m honestly SO FED UP! Since January this year I’ve just rolled from one bug to another, many hardly effecting me, but now and again getting infections that just knock me for six. And now almost two years since all the health issues seemed to of started, I’m back to pretty much constant bed rest as my body is refusing to function even half way to normality.
I’m 20 years old, I don’t feel that I really ask for all that much; I just want to get on with my life in a typical way; working, studying, and not being ill or signed off every other month or more. I have a habit of saying I want a ‘normal’ life, and I’m repeatedly told that there’s no such thing and I do understand this, but by normal I mean to be within normal health for someone my age. I think for a while last year when in a similar situation, by normal I really wanted to be in university, having the ‘ideal’ university experience. Its only as this goes on for longer that I realise that all I really mean is to have options, to be well enough to take chances and opportunities in work and life, to apply for internships and honestly want to move forward with them rather than applying knowing full well that I’m not well enough to take them even if I get them.
I will be honest, although I complain about this, it could be worse. Since last year things have improved, I’m working again and starting my second year of OU, as well as having a much busier life in terms of social activities. It just feels like for every two steps forward I have to take another back again…
So a bit of an update to make some of this moaning make sense… I got admitted into hospital twice mid August with a kidney infection, then when I went back to work doctors found I had another kidney infection- possibly the last of the original one- and now a month on, I’m signed off of work again with high heart rate and fatigue. The good news is there now appears to be no obvious signs of infection, no temperature, and initial tests are coming back clear; which is a strong positive. Problem is, we then don’t know what is causing this. We have many possibilities, so had a load of blood taken today to rule out some of these; but there’s a strong possibility that its a waiting game for my heart rate to return to normal, and for me to get back to full strength.
So I’m now on a further week of rest, luckily no longer on a caffeine ban, so just a matter of not doing anything too tiring this week. Personal plan is a read-athon, rewatching Tudors, and cracking on with study- might as well keep my brain working even if my body cant for now.