Normally in the mental health blogging world we focus on getting off of medication and learning to deal with your conditions. There is nothing wrong with this, and I completely agree that that is the long term aim for almost anyone with a mental illness. However for me, learning to cope with multiple health issues both mental and physical, sometimes is just managing damage control. For me right now, that’s the phase we are in, damage control, and that means taking a little step back and going back on medication.
Lately Ive had a lot going on, with my psych reassessment coming up, an ME flare up, as well as having to prepare to move again. This all is a lot for anyone to handle, especially while Ive been trying to continue with both the blog and my Creative Writing course, and for someone with depression and anxiety it just all became a bit too much. It took a little while, but I did decide that I needed to go back and get professional help for my mental wellbeing.
I had got to a point where I was having panic attacks again. Not just the odd one, but several each and every day, and mostly over ridiculous things, if there was a trigger at all. Sometimes, I would just be sitting there watching TV or reading my book and all of a sudden my vision would shrink and I wouldn’t be able to catch my breath. From there its a downward spiral.
Going back to the psych doctors was a bit nerve racking as I am currently waiting on a reassessment as they think they may have my diagnosis wrong, but I needed to as the anxiety was just taking control of my life. Ultimately I’m glad that I did, as I have now been put back on my anxiety meds that I came off of a few years ago.
This may seem like a step backwards but ultimately its got me in control of my life again- well as much as I can be. I’m only having about one panic attack a day, and they are always for an obvious purpose. I’m lucky that I don’t get side effects from my medication, so its really only a benefit for me. Over time, Ive learnt that I don’t need to be ashamed of taking this little step backwards, as ultimately its going to help me to work forwards and continue to improve.
Should never be afraid to ask for help when you realise you need it, as it can help you from falling backwards.