Halloween is a holiday that most people, young or old, seem to look forward to. Company’s make the most of it, turning everyday things ‘scary’ and halloweeny. However it is not all that ‘fun’ for everyone!! As a schizophrenic sufferer; its not all fun, games and chocolate when it comes to this holiday….
I have the typical schizophrenia symptoms; voices in my head, and visual hallucinations (which I call my shadows), as well as anxiety and social anxiety.. When I think back to before my diagnosis it makes a lot sense as to why I never handled going out in the dark, large crowds, or horror movies.
So Halloween is not fun for me; strangers knocking at the door in the dark = stress and anxiety… Scary movies, and episodes of programmes = louder voices and more shadows… And sudden noises and being made jump = complete freak out!! I’ve never coped well with these things; never able to watch a horror movie without then not being able to sleep or go out, not able to go out in the dark without seeing ‘shadows’ coming at me from everywhere, but add to that purposeful surprises to everyday live… Walking through the street to have things jump out at you, going through a store and things screaming at you;; its all too much!!
Plans for tonight then for me? Duvet, cuppa tea and a book in the room furthest from the door… What is everyone else up to tonight?