Diary of a sleepless night…

When you live with multiple disabilities, all of which leave you hurting, drained and full of fatigue, you would think that sleep would be easy to come by. I spend almost all of my day nearly every day longing to be back in bed, exhausted and just longing for sleep. But when evening comes and I decide to call it a day, I’m normally faced with the inability to turn off, snuggle down, and generally just not able to sleep.

The night before I’m writing this was exactly one of those nights; nice dinner with my man, night in watching telly, and when I go to try and sleep, BING I’m wide awake. img_0341-2

If you have ever had insomnia, then you will know how frustrating this is. For the past few years I have been on medication in order to try and reduce my difficulty sleeping, I take them as soon as I’m going to try and sleep but they don’t always work. This always leaves me so frustrated as I have no focus to do anything but also cant get to sleep.

So last night, I took my pills, snuggled down to get some rest, and lay there for well over 40 minutes, just trying to turn off and go into a nice dream. I must admit that I had a headache most of last night, but that doesn’t normally effect me sleeping too much. But last night was a different matter; I was tossing and turning with no avail.

Now I often find if I get out of bed, and then back into bed that can help me. I don’t know how it works, but its as if it jolts my body into remembering its meant to be getting sleep. With Barney asking to go out and pee, I took myself downstairs, let him in the garden, turned the dishwasher off, got a glass of water and head back to bed.

That did not work though, when I got back into bed, I was welcomed with muscle cramp and restless limb syndrome in my wrists and legs. There is little that can be done when this happens, I tried to ignore it hoping I’d get to sleep, but when that failed I had a bath. Yes I had a bath at 2am, with bubbles and everything. Though it had absolutely no luck, I went back to bed to try to sleep for about another half hour, but it just was not happening.

So at 4am, I gave up hope of sleeping, got out of bed to go downstairs. With the recliner up, favourite blanket to hand and Garfield cartoons on the telly, I expected to just sit up until my partner woke up. Typically, about 5 thirty, I some how fell asleep; only for my partner to wake up at 7 wondering why I wasn’t in bed, which in turn woke me up. After explaining the night I’d had, I got back into bed to try and get back to sleep; on a good day I can sleep till midday, but law of sod means I only managed to get another 2 hours, waking up at 9.

Just in case its not clear, despite being exhausted and completely drained, I managed a grand total of 3 hours, very disturbed sleep. If this morning is anything to go by, it looks like I’m going to have no luck with napping this afternoon either.

Do you ever have sleeping issues? What do you do to try and overcome them?

9 thoughts on “Diary of a sleepless night…

  1. I don’t have sleep issues now, which I am very thankful for. But, I do frequently am effected bu temporary insomnia of days. I find that my brain just refuses to shut down! This usually occurs in spells of days and is often the result of stressful times. Nothing I do at those times helps :/

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  2. I’ve had sleep issues on and off for years so feel your pain 😢I’ve probably tried every trick in the book at one point or another! I now have a bit of a ‘toolkit’ so if one thing doesn’t work, I try something else. My best tools in my box are getting up and reading for a bit, lying still and trying to stay awake (try it, it’s hard) and doing a short guided meditation (I use insights timer). Hope you sleep better tonight x

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    1. Lack of sleep is something only other sleep strugglers can appreciate. Reading is my main trick for getting to sleep, just not always easy if Im watching my partners baby as she would wake from me leaving the room 🙈 I really need to try meditation though, and can’t say I’ve heard of trying to stay awake. I struggle with restless limb syndrome a lot though lying still makes it painful. I do find that having a bath, and watching cartoons very quietly in the dark can work. Hope tonight brings you a solid night sleep xx

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  3. Nights when I’m struggling with insomnia are my worst! Most times I feel my eyes are heavy and I really do want to sleep but I cannot bring myself to actually sleep, my eyes cannot close in sleep and I’m in torture by staying up! What I do is either I do something I hate or find boring like reading a school book or forcing myself to sleep by closing my eyes till they align with my urge.

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  4. Hey Alex, thank you for this post. I too have struggled with this type of situation. I remember that once upon a time, I too would stay up all night and not be able to sleep. What annoyed me was not the fact that I was staying up all night, but the fact that those hours were not productive. I used to think to myself, why did I not just do the dishes, clean the room during that time, doing those thing would have made the next day a lot easier for me. I usually do not do anything to control it, it just goes away on its own. I find that after going to the gym, my body needs sleep and it will sleep.

    Concerning health issues and my life in general, I believe that medications are important. However, I also pray to God regarding any health conditions that I have. I do not rely on my strength alone, but also on the strength of God. I hold on to the words that God said in Isaiah 41:10

    “So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
    I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.

    God is awesome and he can do anything. However, I understand that the concept of God and how he can help can be difficult for some to grasp initially. If you want to know about God in more detail, you can find further information here And Here

    I am so sorry about your insomnia sister, and I hope you get better soon 🙂 ❤


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