Well I am pretty sure that this is something I have mentioned in the past, but ha ho, it has cropped up once again. It’s pretty self-explanatory really, I am FED UP of being ill. Just a quick example, is that in the past few months, I have been ill with something or other every other week! Now I don’t know about you but that is just ridiculous- and I don’t mean just like a sniffle, its been flu, water infections and dodgy stomachs; and don’t forget the tiny cuts that turn into full blown, anti-biotic needing infections…
For quite a while now I have known I have a lower immune system than normal, and recently I have also found out I have an IGA deficiency- IGA is your body initial defence mechanism against infection or illness. So where as a lot of the time people can be around others that are ill, and not get ill themselves; I am more likely to get ill.
I will warn you this is likely to become a very moany post, but I need to say it. Im 20yrs old, yet I’m on medication for multiple issue, some of which is then causing its own issues. Soon, I am now on a new diet, cutting out FOMAP’s- a selection of carbohydrates and sugars. I probably shouldn’t complain, but sometimes I feel as if I’m living the life of someone twice or even triple my age. Day to day, this isn’t too much of a problem.
The problem occurs when I’m seeing friends- people who are able to eat what they want, at any time they want (if I eat too late, I end up in pain all night). They don’t have to take medication at set times of day, with set amounts of food, with no limits as to if they can have alcohol. This can, at times be really frustrating for me. I’d love to be able to go out, and just say, ‘ha, I’m not going home tonight, I’m going to stay at a friends’. But no! I have to plan sleepovers in advance, as I need to have all my drugs with me- I can’t just be spontaneous, and ‘live in the moment’.
This is more than just a mental health issue for once, my body dislikes me almost as much as my mind does. I am joking, I know its not my bodies fault, but at times I just have to laugh otherwise I think I would probably cry. Especially with my stomach right now, its so hard to plan anything in advance- I never know when its going to strike and force me to change my plans. This has been happening a lot lately- been having to cancel volunteer work shifts, leave early and even cancel meeting up with friends; my Dad even had to pick me up from my Aunts at 1 in the morning because it got too bad.
By no means am I saying that I am the only one that has to deal with this; I’m even sure that there are people that have it worse, but I can only say what I see from my position. Very often I find myself wishing that I could have a functioning body that did not need the support of chemicals in order to get through each day healthily and pain free; to be able to go for nights out, drink, and eat junk, not caring what time you got home, or worrying about having to remember to take pills. But ha, that is not the situation that I have been dealt with right now, so not much that I can do. All that I can do is express the frustration I feel on here, and move on with my life.
So to finish I feel its best to name the positives- I’m alive, I can walk and talk, and can pretty much do as I wish as long as its planned in advance. That is more than what some people have. And I am improving. We are finding solutions, that yes may annoy me in their own ways, but what I have to remember is that by sacrificing certain foods, and remembering to take medication, I can have a lot more freedom than I would have without this.