Continue reading “Memoir for my Blue…”

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What are your first thoughts when you think of schizophrenia?

• Murderers?
• Violence?
• Padded white cells?

Schizophrenia has been depicted in many films over the years, but I’m going to mention just two modern ones that I think you’re more likely to of seen. First Black Swan… This although a great film highlights my point precisely, Nina as a lovely, successful young woman until the ‘illness’ kicks in; turning her into a violent, uncontrollable person who does not have it together. I’m not about to sit here and tell you that this is complicate rubbish, but it is heavily exaggerated. When you experience first onset you do lose control a bit.. But personally when mine got worse, I internalised. To the outside world it just seemed as if I was struggling with stress constantly, I wasn’t violent, I didn’t stand around screaming at people. And this isn’t just me, its a form of schizophrenia- albeit rare. The violence that are shown in films from schizophrenics does happen but is more often due to not knowing how to react in social situations rather than random outbursts. We are also a lot more likely to harm ourselves than any one else.

The second film I’m going to talk about is Leo Dicaprio’s ‘Shutter Island’. Once again this is an amazing thriller movie, but depicts schizophrenia as again being violent murders of their own loved ones. Blaming others for their own actions. Schizophrenia is a condition that involves hallucinations and delusions, so as far as creating a story to explain a horrible event  so that it is easier to deal with is a trait that can occur with the condition, just of course it is exaggerated for the screen.

Just a few statistics to help explain the truth…. Studies have shown that only 1 in every 10,000 people that are effected my the illness will ever commit a homicide and only 6.48% of homicide offenders are every diagnosed with schizophrenia. That a really small percentage when you think of the 94% that don’t have any trace of the illness.

So when watching films with a schizophrenic portrayal keep in mind the truth of it. Most of what is shown is done purely for effect and isn’t realistic or a true representation.

Halloween is a holiday that most people, young or old, seem to look forward to. Company’s make the most of it, turning everyday things ‘scary’ and halloweeny. However it is not all that ‘fun’ for everyone!! As a schizophrenic sufferer; its not all fun, games and chocolate when it comes to this holiday….

I have the typical schizophrenia symptoms; voices in my head, and visual hallucinations (which I call my shadows), as well as anxiety and social anxiety.. When I think back to before my diagnosis it makes a lot sense as to why I never handled going out in the dark, large crowds, or horror movies.

So Halloween is not fun for me; strangers knocking at the door in the dark = stress and anxiety… Scary movies, and episodes of programmes = louder voices and more shadows… And sudden noises and being made jump = complete freak out!! I’ve never coped well with these things; never able to watch a horror movie without then not being able to sleep or go out, not able to go out in the dark without seeing ‘shadows’ coming at me from everywhere, but add to that purposeful surprises to everyday live… Walking through the street to have things jump out at you, going through a store and things screaming at you;; its all too much!!

Plans for tonight then for me? Duvet, cuppa tea and a book in the room furthest from the door… What is everyone else up to tonight?

After several day of nothing; I finally have viewers!! 😀  

This will be a very uneventful post, but thank you to everyone who has visited, and especially girlgonedreamer for helping this happen!!!

Well… This is an exciting moment; first ever blog post.

angelwingsandpetticoats is going to a mixed blog; clothes and shoes reviews, books, as well as cute updates of my gorgeous pets.